#reblogs this bc cyrus..................................

[schrodingersachillesheel]

(putting this in the reblogs bc it's long as hell)

im not talking about nostalgia, im talking about him having been one of the first queer characters in a mainstream children's book series?? i think often you guys forget that these books were published in the '00s and early '10s, before gay people were much more than a punchline in media. it's like saying cyrus goodman was bad representation, you're drawing comparisons between an iphone and a telegraph.

representation doesn't exist to fit your perception of what a "good" lgbt character should look like, representation exists to represent. nico di angelo wasn't written to be good, he is good because he was written. criticizing lgbt+ rep from before gay marriage was legalized for not holding up to modern standards means that it worked... having conversations about what constitutes good and bad representation means that we HAVE representation to debate about.

the public's perception of queer ppl has shifted MASSIVELY in the last decade, especially with the legalization of gay marriage in the US only having been passed 9 years ago. it's easy to say early rep is bad, because if it doesn't age poorly then nothing has improved.

Honestly? Nico's fanbase would be much more likeable if they stopped acting like he's a gay icon and the only queer character ever. Just saying yknow 😅

[aperfecta]

Last week my friends came over and I dug out a MLP coloring book and we colored. Well they colored, I was just drawing

[monicole-art]

Wizard101 standees - Which NPCs?

I'd prob only make a few at first (think 4 diff ones bc making standees can get expensive quick) but for 'wave 1' which group of NPCs would yall want to see?

Yall feel free to let me know any specific NPCs you'd want using the comments or reblogs/tags! I'll pick from there which ones to move forward with :)

[ghostieblotts]

Uh well that. Wasn't good. I was trying to run 100% or at least all dungeons and I'm thinking it might get knocked into any% if you know what i mean

I know that technically it is fine (not that assignment, my grades overall) but still. Not happy about that one but oh well there are far worse things

Thank you all for the encouragement though love you peeps <3

Okay moots I've got uhhhh 28 hours to speedrun a 2500 word essay that I haven't even decided the research question for yet. Absolutely horrendous state please send me your energy

[marlinbluezzz]

im not sure how well this is going to go BUT im taking drawing requests for the following fandoms, just shoot me a message or anything you can use to contact me (or just reblog lolsies) and if I like what you requested I’ll draw it lol

I’m willing to draw any ship as long as it’s not gross or harmful but I will put a list of my ships beside the fandoms just in case you ship them too hehehe :3

Do not request nsfw. Deeper topics, gore etc is welcomed

it doesn’t have to be ship related I’m just mentioning my ships because I feel like it tbh. Like I said feel free to request a ship even if I don’t ship it I don’t discriminate!

I’m willing to just draw ocs as well but for fandoms cause I don’t feel like doing non fandom stuff rn

also if you want krattcest I will EXPLODE YOU. NO. NO. NO.

///

FANDOMS/MEDIA

Wild kratts (ships: Zach x Donita (yes I’m a rare species. I think. I haven’t found a lot of content of them) Martin x aviva, jimmy x koki, paisley x Rex)

MLP (I have only watched a few episodes so I’m more likely to take oc requests) (ships: fluttercord, appledash, raridash bc I can’t make up my mind)

Pokémon (NOT the anime I don’t watch it, just things from the games!) (ships: Maxie x Courtney, Maxie x Archie (another case of me not being able to make up my mind) ghetsis x colress, Lysandre x sycamore, Giovanni x Cyrus, Cyrus x Saturn, Cyrus x Cynthia (example three of me not being able to make up my mind) hassel x brassius, giacomo x mela, raihan x leon, Steven x Wallace, and uhh a LOT more but just request anything if you want ship stuff I can’t think rn

Animal crossing (I don’t have specific like,,, ships? I guess but I do ship some of my villagers bc of island lore so if you’re like me then feel free to request interactions between ur villagers fr fr)

Yo gabba gabba (please no ships, but interactions work)

word girl (no ships please)

bluey (I would kill to draw rad and frisky but only request adult ships! I’m not comfy shipping like… 7 year olds lmao.)

Wings of Fire (ships: I don’t have any I’m really invested in asides from qinter lol)

warriors (ships: I don’t have any)

smiling friends (Charpim of course)

wow wow wubbzy: no ships please :( I know this probably doesn’t have a fandom but I’m listing a few of my interests bc I’m interested in shows from my childhood and whatnot so.

pbs kids anything

OTHER THINGS THAT ILL DRAW THAT DONT FIT THE OTHER CATEGORY:

anything mcr or lemon demon! Of course I listen to more artists than that but

///

alright that’s it! Sorry this is a bit cluttered! But uh go wild! I’ll keep this open

[melanthios-has-glitched]

« The Silhouette System »

>> traumagenic system

>> bodily a minor

>> executive dysfunction [may take time to respond]

>> collective pronoun :: it/its/itself

>> collective names :: Melanthios

>> TAKEN BY OUR LOVELY PARTNER @/courtlawed EHEEHEHH

>> hey if you have the time to be here and reblog this post (tw for storm) bc. we worked for long time on it

open file?

yes ~ no

file opened ↻

･⁺₊ Saturn ★ .ᐟ ◞

⊂ he / it / moth / noct / half-life :: masc terms ⊃

☆ ‧ nonbinary . aroace flux˙ ₊ ☾

3 .. mono && < single 3

======================================

⦻ — .. 43DR1 ⌗ ! ◞

ˎˊ˗ ⊂ 1t / v01d ++ n3utr4l t3rm5 ⊃

・×× 1 d0n’t r3c0gn153 g3nd3r b3c4u53 1t’5 4 hum4n s0c13t41 c0n5truct m34nt t0 c0ntr01 p30p13. ××・

~ * ! 0ften u535 typ1ng qu1rk, w111 tr4n514t3 1f 1 h4v3 th3 3n3rgy ! * ~

↳ ꗃ .. B0UND4R135 ⌗ ! ◞ ˖°.

⪩ n1ck/p3tn4m35 ;; n1ckn4m35 y35, p3tn4m35 n0

⊂ f11rt1ng :: n0

⪩ dm5/pm5/45k5 ;; y35

⊃ fr0nt rq5/45k5 :: n0

============================

~ Ayrton ~

꒰ঌ ₊˚⊹ ageless ֗ ₊ ་ ♡ ex-host and angelmate ໒꒱

analogender 📼 ‿ it / ether / avi / spiri / analog

⌣ ֗ ₊ asexual § polyromantic *𓈒

masc terms 👁 open ₊

============================

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Name ; Sasha

Pronouns! ; she / spot *:･ﾟ✧*:･

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ bi lesbian ; transfem

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Role ; happiness holder!!

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

hi!!! i am a faerie, not a fairy!

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

============================

𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬 ▶ 𝗩𝗛𝗦

— Wanderer 💿 ⋆.ೃ࿔:･

= dire wolf . ༉‧₊˚.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ he / retro / analog 🎧

01:08 ━━━━𖧹───── 02:04

⌨️ Now Playing : Snap Out of It - Arctic Monkeys

============================

🕰️ .. — K .. teenager . ılıl 

⌗ .. she / he / they / feather :: masc / fem / neutral masc .. 👁️

❝ It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all / The opposite of love's indifference ❞

🕸 .. ambiancgender {link} : ꗃ : aroace .. 🗝  

[ ▸ ]  .. core of our sys .. 🎞

❝ So pay attention now / I'm standing on your porch screaming out / And I won't leave until you come downstairs ❞ 

============================

Solstice 🔆 Sol

★ < stargender 3

they ☆ star ﹔ pansexual 🌟

============================

✮⋆｡ !! Daychaser !! 𖦹°‧✮

𖥻 he / him %% demiboy . bisexual 𖥻 

ılıl . Warriors fictive . apathy holder ::

❝ but they’re not alone. didn’t you see them among the spirit cats? they are not buried beneath the earth; they’re running with the stars— ❞ ..•﹑

============================

🌑 __ Ghost __,, 🌕

he & him // masc ˗ˏˋ

gay + male

╰┈ Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

============================

•͙💿•͙ l||l •͙🩸•͙ l||l •͙🌡️•͙ l||l •͙🩸•͙ l||l •͙💿•͙ 

╭-— ⊹ — ✙ — ⊹ —-╮

Christian

he / him

-25-

Zeyn_Syre’s YT series fictive

╰-— ⊹ — ✙ — ⊹ —-╯

•͙💿•͙ ıllı •͙🩸•͙ ıllı •͙🌡️•͙ ıllı •͙🩸•͙ ıllı •͙💿•͙

╭-— ⊹ — ✙ — ⊹ —-╮

dni — other Zeyn_Syre fixtures (no offence) (exception being Ethan) (I have my reasons)

boundaries — don’t talk about my death(s). just don’t. you’re not cool for it. fuck off.

╰-— ⊹ — ✙ — ⊹ —-╯

============================

Date: [02/04/2025]       Feeling: [SAD]

 

       JOURNAL OF

        [CALLAHAN]

𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓊝𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ ⋆｡˚ 𓆞

     𓆟 𖦹°‧. 𓆝 𓆜

    he/him

        non-verbal

  sensitive

============================

⦻ — .. Cyrus ‧ Cy ⌗ ! ◞ ˎˊ˗

⊂ he / him ++ masc terms ⊃

・×× 24 yrs. male . asexual ××・

⌞ ¤ persecutor-flux ⇆´

❝ (You don't have the heart) / (You don't have the will)-- ❞

・×× touch? no . dms? ... maybe. . flirt? no ××・

𓆩 likes ♡ guns & blood & Zeyn 𓆪

⌞ ¤ hates ;; most people % Andrew % threats ⇆´

============================

🥩. . Nathan ⇵ 24 yrs

　　　◟You'll never be loved, you'll never be safe / Might as well give up◝﹏💥

⸝⸝ gay lı maleㄑ he/him/himself ！？

　malicitor﹕🚬﹢violent

============================　　

𖤐˚.. Monaco !! or Mona .. ♱

⌗ he / him / flame ⨾ masc terms .. 𖤐.ᐟ◞

⊂ . male + ⚰︎ + bisexual . ⊃

⫘ ･ 28 :: arsonist ( system role ) :: don't trust me with a lighter ･ ☾

𐙚 ⇏ poly 𐕣 taken but open ⇍ ❦

Emojis!!

Saturn — 🦋

Aedri — 🌌

Ayrton — 🏎️

Sasha — 🦌

Wanderer — 🖤

K — 🖋️

Solstice — ☀️

Daychaser — 🌅

Ghost — 🌑

Christian — 🩸💿

Callahan -- 🎞️

Cyrus -- 🪢

Nathen --🔪

Monaco -- 🏁

[wetchickenbreast]

when you reblog cyrus stuff it makez me laugh bc u alwayz add mutualz before hiz name. mutual first, boyfriend second

LMAO well he was my tumblr mutual before he became my boyfriend after all

[steel--fairy]

characters who aren't related in canon but are in my verse:

--green & leaf were raised by blaine after their parents death. very free range but still.

--brock and bruno are cousins

--agatha and bertha are sisters. their family moved around a lot when they were kids and agatha liked kanto more while bertha preferred sinnoh

--winona and anabel could be siblings? they have those similar ponytails which is flawless logic by pokemon standards

--wallace & lisia and wally. and kris. lisia, wally, and kris & daphne are all cousins : )

oh gosh theres also the thing i refer to here as [redacted] which is n is the middle brother between kris and daphne. he doesnt know this and daphne doesnt even know she has a brother bc of how young they were when he was lost so it never comes up even when they meet : (

also also bc i started this whole thing with the joke that all the characters with light green/turquoise hair are related, proton is wallaces cousin while katy is his....first cousin once removed? *looks at chart* yea thats the right one. she's lisias age.

--two very very distant relatives (like, to the point where theyre strangers who have no idea theyre related) stemming from my legends era ocs: morty & caitlin, and steven & cyrus.

also not my ocs but bc laventon/cyllene good, cyrus is also very very distantly related to leon and hop which is hilarious to think about

--fantina and tucker are siblings. they're from kalos and both moved to different regions at different points in time

--silver, mars, and roark are all siblings (listed youngest to oldest). they all have ariana as a mother. she was married to byron, had roark and mars, they divorced and she moved away and had silver with giovanni. and arezu is arianas ancestor.

--on that note, ilima is the descendent of palina and iscan. i think thats the most likely candidate for them

--valerie is the youngest kimono girl and gets to help summon ho oh/lugia with her eevee

--greta is viola and alexis' younger sister. greta moved to hoenn bc it has a better battling culture

--tina from pokemon masters is alders granddaughter. whether shes bengas sister or cousin idk. i think im leaning towards cousin.

--idk how yet, but i do vibe with piers & marnie being related to grimsley. their uncle perhaps? when his familys fortune fell, his much older sibling ditched him for galar (trying to make money from their commercialized gym challenge?) and then had some kids there. neither party knows the other well.

--there is some relation between shelly and nessa but idk what. shelly is her aunt perhaps?

--i love that art i reblogged a while ago of larry and juan being related. the difference in personality makes it SO funny. the art had them as cousins but i think brothers might be even funnier (and funny should always win). im thinking they have a sootopolitan parent and a paldean parent. had juan, roughly 10 yrs later had larry as a way to not get divorced, got divorced anyways, and then each one took a kid. they keep in touch tho

--wikstrom is giacomo's father. i considered larry but i think wikstrom works better.

--hassel is iris's uncle. his younger brother is her father and the girl sent to bring him back to the family is iris' older sister who never left the village

--also if miriam and iono dont end up related im rioting. miriam is iono's older sister.

--when i saw penny talking about her dad i immediately went oh! peony! and i do vibe with that but gotta admit... kinda hard to make them related lmao could just go the adoption route tho, nothing says they have to be blood relations

--......was about to post this and realized i forgot one of my oldest hc's which is archie is hau's dad (and therefore hala's son). it's so ingrained in me I forgot it wasn't actually canon lmao

anyways, i think thats it?

[prmafrost]

How much does your muse know about the Pokèmon world? Repost, don't reblog ; Bold whatever your muse knows! Italics is a maybe.

MAJOR GAME EVENTS

Mewtwo's Creation | Red battles against Team Rocket | Team Rocket's Radio Tower attack | Shadow Pokèmon | Kyogre and Groudon's awakening | Rayquaza's awakening | the meteor headed towards Hoenn | Cyrus controlling Dialga and Palkia | the Distortion World | Team Plasma's attacks | the shooting of the Ultimate Weapon | the existence of different universes and timelines | Ultra Space | Ultra Beasts | the existence of Fallers | the Darkest Day | Sada or Turo's death* | Paradox Pokèmon | Dialga and Palkia's Origin Form

He doesn't know they're DEAD so much as that he knows they're MISSING.

HISTORY

the history of the Burnt Tower | the legends of the two Unovan Dragons | Arceus's Creation mythos | the Kalos war | Calyrex's legend | the Emperor of Paldea | the discovery of Area Zero | Hisui's legends | Team Galactic's origins

ANTAGONISTS

Team Rocket | Team GO Rocket | Giovanni's involvement with Team Rocket | Team Snagem | Team Aqua | Team Magma | Team Galactic | Team Plasma | Neo Team Plasma | Team Flare | Lysandre's involvement with Team Flare | Malva's involvement with Team Flare | Team Skull | Aether Foundation's crimes | Team Yell | Macro Cosmos' crimes | Team Star | Volo*

He knows someone did a fucky wucky back in old Sinnoh (Hisui) but he neither knows that it was on purpose, nor does he know who it is.

LEGENDARY POKEMON

Articuno | Moltres | Zapdos | Mew | Mewtwo | Ho-Oh | Lugia | Celebi | Raikou | Entei | Suicune | Kyogre | Groudon | Rayquaza | Deoxys | Jirachi | Regirock | Regice | Registeel | Latias | Latios | Dialga | Palkia | Giratina | Arceus | Uxie | Mesprit | Azelf | Heatran | Regigigas | Cresselia | Darkrai | Phione | Manaphy | Shaymin | Zekrom | Reshiram | Kyurem | Victini | Cobalion | Terrakion | Virizion | Keldeo | Tornadus | Thundurus | Landorus | Meloetta | Genesect | Xerneas | Yveltal | Zygarde | Diancie | Hoopa | Volcanion | Cosmog | Cosmoem | Solgaleo | Lunala | Type: Null | Silvally | Tapu Koko | Tapu Bulu | Tapu Lele | Tapu Fini | Magearna | Marshadow | Zeraora | Meltan | Melmetal | Zacian | Zamazenta | Eternatus | Calyrex | Kubfu | Urshifu | Regieleki | Regidrago | Glastrier | Spectrier | Zarude | Enamorus | Koraidon | Miraidon | Ting-Lu | Chien-Pao | Wo-Chien | Chi-Yu | Ogerpon | Okidogi | Munkidori | Fezandipiti | Terapagos

ULTRA BEASTS

Nihilego | Buzzwole | Pheromosa | Xurkitree | Celesteela | Kartana | Guzzlord | Poipole | Naganadel | Stakataka | Blacephalon | Necrozma

He's literally never met or heard of any of them lol.

REGION LOCKED STUFF

Safari Zones | Pokèathlon | Contests | Mega Evolution | Z-Moves | the Island Challenge | Dynamax/Gigantamax | Terastallizing | Regional forms

RPC-SPECIFIC

Mount Silver is Haunted | Mount Silver also erupted once | Team Rocket cloning/genetics experiments | the PWT winners | Area Zero is under armed surveillance | people can get Pokèrus | People with Pokèmon powers | Legendary Pokèmon are able to shapeshift into humans* | People can have connections with Legendary Pokèmon, even without capturing them | Area Zero crystals corruption | Missingno/Glitch City

He's heard that but doesn't believe it quite yet.

In any case, bold of yall to assume I keep up with any of the shit yall come up with. Cant really join in any of it either most of the time bc I get overwhelmed + my timezone just does not lend itself toward this sort of big event stuff at all anyway. F

Which in the end means: please do not ever assume that any of the RPC-specific stuff is canon to any of my muses let alone that any know about them. They won't.

[full-tiltboogiearc]

🎹🏆🔥

MY EXPERIENCE IN THE ROLEPLAYING COMMUNITY * send me a symbol and i’ll tell you…

🎹 the worst roleplay trend i ever saw

laksjdflas this is a tough one because nothing pops out of me as the "worst" though some were pretty bad. i'll say that i even participated in some of the trends because they're trends for a reason! also disclaimer that if you did/do this, i don't think you're a bad person or rper. bc i was guilty of it too! but all of us using the same like dozen face claims... when teen wolf and the vampire diaries were really big... even tho i never watched those shows i was still v much in a dylan o'brien chokehold.

🏆 how long i’ve been roleplaying for

i've been rping since 2007 when i was a wee little bean too young to be on message boards. i vividly remember joining a high school rp with a miley cyrus fc who was in a love triangle with zac efron and vanessa hudgens muses. (no my muse didn't end up with the zac efron fc). p sure i cried irl

🔥 my hot take about the roleplaying community

asdfaklsjdf again. i don't know if i have a hot take. maybe lukewarm. but i will say that i miss when we reblogged from each other a lot, used big gifs, and had long strings of ooc chats on the dash. things were simpler then and we didn't care so much about how things looked, just that we were havin fun!

[lostredsilver]

Bet, let's do this

You know what finally confirmed this? Legends Arceus

How?

WELL LET ME TELL YOU

Using the most obvious connections

Volo » Cynthia

Cyllene » Cyrus (please ignore the artifacting, I yoinked this from Google)

Ok first, Cynthia and Volo. Aka The most BLATANT relation to ever relate. Hair style matches, pose matches, story relevance matches and to kick it all off, THEY SHARE THE SAME THEME! (Story relevance: they appear randomly throughout the story and are generally the last trainer/wielder you face)

Cyrus and Cyllene. Both have an authority position in an organisation called Galactic (Team Galactic / Galactic Survey Corps). Also the facial structure matches up pretty well (down to expression). Same shade hair + similar styling, somewhat matching poses (I could ramble about how the differing poses highlights the different character alignment but not today)

Why am I talking about this? Simple! BC I had a conversation with a friend who was surprised that Silver, Mars, Ariana and Giovanni are implied to be some type of family

So let's talk about that

Firstly, note Giovanni and Silver's expressions (not going much into Giovanni's link because it is in fact canonically stated)

There's also the styling of the official arts; faces shrouded mostly in shadow. Also note the posing again! Ariana and Silver both have very similar poses as well as the hair colour and styling which ties Mars in. Eye colour is weird though, because here Silver is depicted with grey eyes but in the HGSS intro he's given red eyes, but has also been shown to have purple eyes. We're gonna treat the purple as an outlier for now and focus on the grey/red. Grey leans into Giovanni (who also has dark eyes) while the dubiously canon red leans sharply towards Ariana and Mars

Also regarding Mars, you have to do a little stretching but you can easily say the outfits tie them in together. Mars and Ariana match and, to a degree, Silver and Giovanni matches up.

Oh yeah also

Take a look at Mars' ancestor, Arezu

Boots have the same pattern as Silver's coat(?) her eye shape looks very similar to Ariana and her entire appearance follows the trend of the three red haired (in fact, it's like a fusion of Silver and Mars. The general hair shape is close to Mars' but it has the same left* swoop as Silvers)

*as in the characters left, it's our right

(feel free to reblog and add anything!)

I know it's been done before but I really want to ramble about how Game Freak often communicates family tree through appearance

[insecateur]

as another Cyrus enjoyer, I have nothing to offer, but trust me, the Cyrus Fucks conversation feeds me like I'm a starving little pathetic wet cat. Thanks.

i am SO glad bc it literally started bc of you reblogging that "does your icon fuck" poll from me so 😭 if anybody deserves to enjoy it it's you

[crockettmarcel]

being autistic at the hairdressers is great because when you look in the mirror this is what’s staring back at you for 45 minutes

[apolymi]

I cant stop thinking about this but like. How does Billy Ray Cyrus feel now that mullets are back?

[enchantedtherose]

Looking back at the clip, I really do think that Blondie just said something about TJ and that Cyrus is just trying to calm things down like the mini therapist he is. Either way we're going to be getting Tyrus content, just probably no jealous TJ ☹️

[jeonqkooks]

isn't it romantic? | myg (01)

ENTRY ONE: Me Before You

⟶ SERIES MASTERPOST

Many things in life have a polar opposite: left and right, night and day, yin and yang, you and Min Yoongi... Hopeless romantic meets gloomy cynic. The only thing you seem to share is a magazine column but even then, you still can’t seem to understand how Yoongi can be called ‘The Love Doctor’ when he is the antithesis of everything love represents.

pairing: yoongi x f!reader; side/past taehyung x f!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genre/warnings: coworkers to lovers, magazine writers au, fluff, angst, eventual smut; central themes of cheating (not between yoongi and oc), swearing (a staple in this household 😗), one bit is a lilllll suggestive?, mentions of drinking, i think that's it hmmm, barely edited bc u know how we do

word count: 5.1k

note: this is the yoongi brainrot speaking !!! the banner for this entry is one of my all time favorite pics of him and i will find a way to use it in everything !!! but erhm yeah iir is officially starting and i'm very curious to see what y'all think about it 😗 please like it haha jk no i'm serious please like it it's my baby

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I waste my breath on a prayer, you don't care, I was never a part of your plan, You can't make a God of somebody, Who's not even half of a half-decent man.

I Burned LA Down - Noah Cyrus

Half your life, you hated blue.

You often associated it with so many bad things - loss, betrayal, loneliness. The great big storm. The end of life.

Most of the pigtails-wearing girls in your class disliked it because it was often a boy’s color. You hated it because of a stranger on a beach.

Then you discovered Blue Side (as ironic as the name was), the magazine that everybody and their mother was reading. There was this column - the Love Maze (as corny as it sounded) - that had your 15-year-old self hooked from the first article you read, “Flirty Pickup Lines to Text Your Crush”. It gave you a nice little distraction from the reality of your fucked up family.

You’d get home from school and dive right into it. You could count on the maze for a new article every day, covering all kinds of things - cute little quizzes, daily love horoscopes, relationship tidbits…

You started reading it religiously because it was stupid, and fun, but it was more than that too. They covered real-life stories of actual people, which you’d never really thought about. For the most part, it was tedious. Rekindling with an old flame whilst grocery shopping, accidentally spilling coffee on a stranger who then asked you out on the spot, etc. Things like that. You found them so… unremarkable. 

But then it went beyond that, when they told their stories looking back on years and years after that first happenstance. How there was love in the mundane. How there was love every single day, even on the bad ones. How there was a spark that two people cared for and nurtured into a warm fire that never burnt out.

How there was love.

How there was always love.

To you, that was magical. It was something you’d only ever heard about in fairytales when you were a kid.

You still remember the exact moment when it all changed for you.

You met Kim Taehyung during your third week at Blue Side, where you were a wide-eyed assistant editor who somehow wiggled her way into a position there, and he was an effortlessly charming graphic designer.

Admittedly, the first time that you two had ever talked, wasn’t under ideal circumstances. You were tucked away behind the office building, nails digging into your palms at 3PM on a sunny but freezing afternoon, willing your tears to stay where they belonged. You’d felt severely underqualified, like you were only flailing about, trying to keep your head above water but something kept pulling at your feet, not stopping until you were at the very bottom. People always talked about how your early 20s were the most beautiful and freeing years, when you could truly live and feel your youth blossom all around you. But that just wasn’t true. Those were the loneliest years of your life.

Taehyung had found you then, while he was out for a quick smoke break. He could’ve made a lame excuse and left, or simply pretended to not notice you were even there, but he stayed. He approached you and asked what was wrong. He offered you words of reassurance and encouragement even though you were nothing but a stranger to him.

You were touched by his simple act of kindness and his endearing smile. Maybe it’s because you’d never been offered much kindness throughout your life that his small gesture seemed like everything. In a way, it was everything. He looked like the kind of fairytale love that you’d only seen in movies, only read about in Love Maze. To this day, a part of you still thinks that you fell in love with him the very second he asked, “Are you okay?”

The timing felt right.

Taehyung felt right.

He, too, was like the sun in the middle of a cold and isolating winter.

You remember the color of his sweater, and it was then that you realized blue didn’t have to be so bad after all.

[15:39] You: what r u doing tonight?

[15:45] Tae ♡: probably just head home after the gym. play a couple matches with Jungkook. hope i don’t die boiling water for ramen and hit the hay early

[15:46] Tae ♡: miss you :(

[15:49] You: thanks

[15:52] Tae ♡: mean

[15:53] You: lol 😇

[15:54] You: i miss you too <3

[15:56] Tae ♡: can’t you come back earlier?

[15:58] You: there’s only a week left. you’re a big boy, u can handle it :)

That was a lie. You were already on the train when you sent him that text, bouncing your leg all the way back to the city at the mere thought of surprising him with your early return. You’d taken a leave from work to visit your family, spent some time somewhere quieter, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.

You watch as the scenery passes by, fast-paced like you’re in a montage. The rest of forever is right around the corner. You wish you could skip to your happily ever after and not have to rewind the tape ever again.

When the diamond on your ring finger catches the sunlight coming from outside the window, you allow yourself a blissful sigh as you gaze at the jewelry adorning your hand. But if you’re being honest, it doesn’t fit anymore, at least that’s what you’ve noticed over the past month. It’s a little loose now, not quite noticeable but you can still make out the slight difference if you concentrate hard enough. You should get it resized soon, maybe later this week now that your schedule has cleared up earlier than expected.

Three weeks is a lot of time to spend around only your family, you realize. You thought you could do it - seeing that you hadn’t been back in a while - but the second you stepped foot into your childhood home, you remembered what a dysfunctional household you had.

It was nice while it lasted, which wasn’t very long. You did all you could, bit your tongue and tried to suppress that unresolved anger until it eventually became too much to handle. Your mom has always been a complainer. Nobody likes talking about it, but she’d bring up the same old shit almost every day even though you all know what happened. Your dad would just sit there and listen as she berates him in front of you and your sister, and you suppose he keeps quiet because there’s really nothing to be said in his defense. It was his crime, and this is his punishment.

Sometimes, you wonder why dad still stays. Sometimes, you wonder why mom still lets him.

You just wanted to go, even though this was supposed to be home. You want to leave every time you visit, and it’s a haunting feeling that keeps following you around your whole life. Why is home always a place you want to leave?

When you arrived back in the city, the first place you went to was Taehyung’s apartment. You lounged about, enjoying the much needed silence after two whole weeks with your family, killing time as you waited for your fiance to return from work.

You thought about you and Taehyung, and how your wedding was only months away but this was still his place. You wondered why you hadn’t moved in yet, though it wasn’t for a lack of trying on his part. Even though you spent most days of the week at Taehyung’s, you still had your own place.

Twenty minutes before he was usually supposed to come home, you ordered from his favorite restaurant, so he would have a proper meal once he was back, instead of half-assing his dinner with flavorless ramen like he’d planned. 

But Taehyung didn’t come back, and the food has been cold for hours now.

You glance at your phone again.

11:02 PM.

No new notifications.

The last message you sent him was around 8:30 - just a simple Whatcha doing? - but he hasn’t replied. 

There’s a small part of you that goes into a dark place, and you physically have to shake off the thoughts. Taehyung has never given you a reason not to trust him, but still, the wandering thoughts can’t help themselves. Is it insecurity, or paranoia? Or have you been programmed to be skeptical after everything that’s happened?

Maybe he’s just caught up with work. Maybe the guys at the office had last minute plans. Maybe Jungkook showed up unannounced and dragged Taehyung into one of his shenanigans again. There’s a lot of reasons to explain why he isn’t home when he said he would be.

You wait for him. Sometimes, waiting is all you can do.

You don’t get any indication of life until some time after midnight, when the door opens and you hear him stumble into the hallway. The first thing that escapes you is a sigh of relief - relieved that he’s home, safe and sound, and not out there somewhere doing things you would really not even let yourself imagine. You sit there on the couch, shrouded by darkness, now even more committed to making him squeal out of his skin after (unintentionally) making you wait for hours like that.

You carefully listen to the sounds coming from down the hall, trying to time when you’ll jump up and shock him.

There’s his shoes dropping to the floor carelessly. There’s some shuffling as he moves about, navigating his way through the dark. There’s a light thud, the sound of something hitting the wall softly.

A sharp intake of breath. His familiar groan, muffled. A whimper, feminine.

Your mind instantly blanks, and that nervous breath from before has suddenly found its way back into your lungs, growing in size until you stand up and say, “Tae?”

Somebody shrieks, and it’s neither you nor Taehyung.

When he switches on the lights, you don’t know what to focus on first - your fiance with his shirt unbuttoned, red lipstick smudged around the corners of his mouth; or the woman next to him with her back against the wall, hair disheveled, one strap of her pretty blue dress pulled down.

Huh.

If this was what you wanted, then you suppose you succeeded.

Taehyung stares at you, eyes blown wide, mouth opening and closing dumbly as he searches for words. “Y/N, I-” he stutters, “w-what are you doing here?”

You’ve seen this exact moment in movies, read it in books and online posts on the Blue Side forum from people seeking advice. You witnessed your own mother go through it when you had just learned how to read. 

Your nails dig into the palm of your hands as you steady yourself. You’re not sure what your face is showing, if it’s even showing anything at all. You’re being pulled apart in every direction. Things that you felt as a child are things you never wanted to feel as an adult. It’s not until now that you finally understand why mom hasn’t gotten over it, even though it’s been decades. This is the kind of hurt that chases you wherever you go, never relenting until it makes sure it has a home deep within your bones.

You inhale a shaky breath, and take a step back when Taehyung starts approaching you. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice cracking on the apology. 

You don’t want to hear any of it. You don’t want to be here anymore. For the second time today, you’re leaving home. For the second time in your life, home is being taken away again.

Somewhere in the back of your head, a tiny voice echoes, There it is.

You run out of there, feeling like the ceiling is going to collapse on you. You hear him call out your name, but his voice drifts further and further away as you move. Taehyung isn’t even following you. The faint scent of whiskey on his breath follows you out, but not him.

You keep moving until you’re out on the street, until you can’t even see the building anymore. You shiver from the chilly air, and the influx of emotions that threatens to make you burst. Lightning cuts across the night sky, flashing bright for a split second before everything dulls into darkness again. The forecast said it was going to rain tonight, you recall. Your phone in your bag vibrates the whole time, but still, no one follows you.

Your feet slow to a halt when the first drop of rain hits the ground. You’re not even sure how long you were walking, but now that you’ve stopped, you notice the shiver is gone. You’re standing completely still, and that those seismic waves in the center of your chest from earlier are nowhere to be found.

Oh. You’re doing it again.

Heavier drops start to dampen the earth.

You don’t know where else to go.

Not your own apartment. Not now. No, it’s too empty there.

Maybe it’s a sign from the universe, that you’re just undeserving of a place to belong.

You open your phone to find his name on your screen, next to the words (7) missed calls. You ring up the only person you can, and when she finally picks up, you say, “Can I come over?”

Even when your voice cracks, you don’t cry. The earthquake never comes.

Sohee takes you in like the good friend she is. You’re grateful that she was someone you could count on to always have your back at work, who then turned into one of your best friends outside of the office too.

She gives you some clothes to change into, and doesn’t question anything when you ask if you could spend the night. Though, you have a feeling that she knows who this is about. She leaves you alone to get some rest, but it’s probably because she has work in the morning too, and it was already 1:30AM when you interrupted her peace and quiet with the call.

You don’t sleep a wink that night.

Instead, you think about your mom, and how she must have felt when she found out about your dad’s infidelity, time and time again. It’s true what they say, children really don’t know a lot about their parents. 

How did she feel when she first found out? You can’t imagine what it must have been like, going through all of that while having two kids to think about too.

You feel bad that just yesterday, you’d been so annoyed with her that you cut your trip short.

Outside Sohee’s windows, the sky cries, like it’s grieving in place of you, its tears drowning the earth in waves of sorrow. For a moment, you consider stepping out there, to feel the rain on your face and in your hair. But in the end, you stay inside, where you’re sheltered and dry.

You don’t realize that the sun has risen until Sohee knocks on your - well, her - door. 

She cracks it open gently. “Babe?” she asks, tentative like you’re a cornered animal, ready to bolt at any given moment. “Are you up?”

You lie in her bed, feeling so foreign in your own skin. You reckon your eyes must be bloodshot from the lack of sleep. You haven’t even cried once.

“I’m alive,” you tell her, as you stare up at the ceiling. There are no stars here, just plain cream-colored paint.

“Okay,” you hear her say, then she pauses for a moment, clearly not knowing how to proceed. 

Sohee approaches you, sits on the bed, and gives you a smile. She pats your hair, and it reminds you of your sister. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong? I have some time before I meet Namjoon for breakfast.”

You sit up, reaching for your phone on the bedside table. It’s been switched off since you got here, and when you turn it back on, a flurry of texts light up the device until the screen lags. Messages from Taehyung, asking where you were, begging you to tell him if you were safe.

You open the texts to show him that you’ve read them. That should be enough of an answer.

You test the words in your mouth for a moment. “Taehyung cheated on me,” you say, thinking that if you verbalize it, it would be real and you would finally feel bad. That it was just a delayed reaction, that you were just too in shock to process anything. You want to feel bad, but it doesn’t work.

Sohee’s eyes widen almost comically. “Are you fucking serious?” she asks in disbelief, half because of the nature of the news itself, and half because of how calm you are.

“He cheated on me,” you repeat and still, nothing surfaces. If anything, it backfires. You can physically feel yourself doing it again - shutting down. “I caught him last night.”

You’re not sure what’s wrong with you. This isn’t a normal person’s reaction after they found out their fiance was cheating on them.

But.

It is a you reaction. 

You keep doing this, even when you don’t mean to. You ran away last night, and you’re running away now. Your body shuts out every negative emotion until you feel nothing at all. It’s stupid that you do this, and it’s stupid that you don’t know how to stop doing it.

Fight or flight, and you choose flight every time. Every single fucking time.

You wish you could give Sohee something, anything would do. Scream, cry, go back to your apartment to set fire to all of Taehyung’s belongings. Anything would be better than this complete lack of emotions you’re showing. 

You watch her face as it happens, things that you should be feeling but aren’t. She’s mostly shocked, angry, but not hurt. How could she? She wasn’t the one being played for a fool. You wish you could ask her to give you some of that anger, even if it’s only a fraction.

You don’t see Taehyung again until two days later, when he shows up at your door. Even when he’s standing in front of you, words spilling from his lips like prayers instead of apologies, you just feel… empty.

You let him inside, and the second that the door closes behind him, you fill up with unease. All your walls are up again, your system on high alert. Everything in your body is telling you that there’s an intruder in your space. Your feet are ready to bolt, just itching to get out of there Go, your head says, you’re not safe here.

Taehyung approaches you, tries to hold your hand, but you just shrug him off. The man in front of you visibly deflates, and despite the way his face falls, you don’t soften. 

The first thing he asks you is, “Why didn’t you cry?”

“What?”

“You don’t look like you’ve been crying,” he points out. “Did you cry?”

Reluctantly, you admit, “No.”

Then he just stares at you. When his judgmental gaze holds yours, you feel guilty. Guilty that you’re not mourning the death of this relationship. Guilty that you’re just letting it go, but the truth is you don’t have any fight in you. You don’t see the point in trying to salvage what’s no longer alive.

“Do you even love me?” His voice is hard when he asks this, like he’s trying to keep his anger at bay.

“Of course I love you,” you say, but it lacks conviction. You both know it. The words sound so flaccid coming out of your mouth.

But you love him.

You do.

Did?

“Then why didn’t you cry?”

How do you tell him that you can’t? That you don’t know how?

How do you tell him that if you could, you would reach inside and claw out your feelings like digging for water in a desert. 

What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t a high school crush, or a casual summer fling.

You two were supposed to get married, for fuck’s sake. You were supposed to spend the rest of your life with him. If there’s anything that could make you break through those godforsaken defense mechanisms to let the hurt in, it should be this.

“Did you kiss someone else just to see if I would cry?” you ask. Your voice is even, and you can see that it makes Taehyung more frustrated than he already is.

He grits his teeth, exhaling. You notice his blue sweater, and you stop him before he can say anything else. Obviously, it looks a lot more worn than it did back then, but over the years you’ve always found it endearing. It’s the first memory that you have of him. It was always something you could cherish.

Now, you can’t even bear to look at it.

It’s then that you realize it doesn’t matter what answer he gives you. Yes? No? It genuinely doesn’t matter. There is nothing that can make you see him the same way ever again.

You run your thumb over the ring on your finger, twisting it for a moment to memorize the feel of it. It’s the last thing that ties you to him. “You can have this back,” you say, handing the piece of jewelry back to him.

When a relationship ends, especially for a reason like this, people tend to think it’ll go down in a kdrama-esque fashion - crying, slapping, throwing water in the other person’s face. But that’s not what this is. It’s not cathartic; sometimes the end of a relationship is just a fizzle, doesn’t even make it to a fullburn. It might be unsatisfying, but it happens every day. It’s not always a pivotal point; sometimes it’s just a point.

Taehyung stares at the object in his palm. “That’s it?” he asks in disbelief. “We’re breaking up?”

“What else is there to do?”

“You’re not even gonna ask me anything? Who she was, how it started, how long it’s been going on?”

The other morning, Sohee had asked you to elaborate after you told her what happened, but there was just not that much to tell. You were there. He brought someone else home. End of story.

It was enough for Sohee to call him every name in the book and curse his entire bloodline though.

You suppose that’s a reasonable reaction. Taehyung cheated. You never thought he was a person capable of doing that. Three years of your life, down the drain. There’s nothing left to save.

“Okay,” you shrug tiredly, like you’re just having a casual and dull conversation about the weather. “Who was she? How did it start? How long has it been going on?”

Your name comes out of his mouth, sounding like a scoff. “Ask it like you mean it.”

“But I don’t mean it,” you say. “What difference does it make? Knowing doesn’t change the fact that you still cheated on me. You know what I’ve been through and you still fucked it up. You did the worst thing you could ever do to me.”

“Fuck, I know that!” he groans, throwing his hands up. “I messed up badly, and I’m sorry. Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry. I will never deny that what I did wasn’t wrong. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re to blame for this too? You never want to admit that it could be your fault too.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You tell me. I keep having to put up with your baggage.” Then he shuts right up, barely even makes it through the last syllable before he’s squeezing his eyes shut for a second, clearly realizing that out of all the things he could’ve said, that was grossly out of line. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean th-”

And now you’re getting angry for the wrong reasons.

“You cheated but somehow it’s my fault, right?” you snap. “Boohoo. Sorry that you’ve had to put up with me all these years. I’m such a burden, right? Fuck you, Taehyung.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“I think you should leave.”

You think it’s the steel in your voice as you say this that makes him stop arguing. 

He holds your gaze for a moment longer. You’re someone who tears up when you see stray dogs, who cries alongside the fictional characters in your favorite show. And yet, as you watch your own fiance leave…

The door clicks shut as he exits your life, but everything he said stays behind, clings to your walls and festers like mold.

The second you step onto the floor, everyone grows quiet. Lively chatter turns into hushed whispers. People go back to making their morning coffee, side-eyeing each other in a way that’s not meant to be very subtle.

You quietly make your way to your desk, all the while feeling the nosy pairs of eyes on you as you walk. You don’t know how word got out, but you were sure that everyone would know eventually. You just didn’t expect it’d be this soon. Sohee would never do that to you, and you highly doubt that Taehyung would go around broadcasting his infidelity. 

As you set your stuff down, you make eye contact with the new intern who sits a few spots away from you. You haven’t had the chance to talk to her much, but she’s a nice girl. She gives you a small smile in greeting, and even though you know she doesn’t mean to pity you, you can still see it in her eyes.

A minute later, Sohee comes up to you. “Hey, babe,” she says, leaning on your desk with two plastic cups in her hands. One iced latte and one mango smoothie. She puts the yellow-colored beverage down and nudges it toward you, a little lackluster and unlike her usual playful self.

“Thanks,” you say, taking the smoothie with a smile, commenting, “Interesting morning so far. Never thought I’d ever be the subject of office gossip.”

“Yeah, about that. Do you know who was Taehyung’s… uhm… y’know?”

It’s okay. She can say it. You can handle it.

You already feel nothing, and there’s nothing you can even do to rectify it. Might as well lean into it, right?

Or maybe you should just go to therapy.

“No,” you tell her. “I didn’t want to know.”

“Well, uhm, now that the whole office knows, I think you should hear this from me first…” Sohee bites her bottom lip as she gauges your reaction. When you only sigh and give her the go-ahead, she continues, “It was Yura from Marketing.”

“What?”

“Yura from Marketing. You know the one. Brought muffins for the whole office on her first day? A little too bubbly for my taste. But yeah, she was at work the other day and suddenly burst into tears at, like, 10AM, and that’s how everybody found out.”

Of course. Even though people here are surrounded by celebrity gossip on the daily, nothing beats the good old-fashioned office affair. Why bother with celebrity gossip when you have front row seats to live drama unfolding ten feet away?

You take a sip of your smoothie, swallowing down the inkling of irritation that tickles the back of your throat. “Well,” you say, “I’m glad the downfall of my relationship is like a circus animal for them to gawk at. Can’t wait until they move onto the next big thing.”

“Honestly, it might blow over sooner than you think. The Love Doctor is back today.”

“What?” Your ears perk up at the mention of his name, glancing up at her in surprise as you put your drink down. “Doesn’t he work at the Paris office?”

“He used to work here. We joined around the same time. Then he transferred to Paris a few years ago. Nobody even knows why. One day he just upped and left.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he’d be here? I didn’t have time t-”

“Calm down, sweetcheeks, I only just found out,” Sohee chuckles, holding a finger against your mouth to shush you. “We all know you used to have a major lady boner for him.”

“I do not.” You don’t even know what he looks like, just his name when it appears in the byline of an article. “I admire him.”

Which is true, you do admire him. He’s your own version of a freaking rockstar. Though, you have to admit that Love Doctor is a huge cliche of a nickname, and significantly reduces the scope of his brilliance. The way that man writes makes it seem like he’s experienced lifetimes and is now here to pass on his wisdom. 

He doesn’t feel like a mere magazine writer like yourself. There’s something in his words that turns you inside out, makes you experience things that you’ve never even gone through. He flows like poetry, and leaves you stunned every time.

Okay, maybe you do have a lady boner, but for his brain.

Which… is probably something you should never say out loud.

Someone walks in then, a man you’ve never seen before. He looks around your age, if not a couple of years older. He bypasses all of the other desks without saying anything, not a single Hi or Good morning. He doesn’t look like the type to speak if not spoken to.

Then he walks over to where you and Sohee sit, and sets his bag on the empty desk next to yours.

You look at Sohee, and she just shrugs.

It can’t be him. Surely, it’s not…?

“Min Yoongi,” she says in greeting.

Oh, it is.

He spares her a nod before he looks away again. “Sohee.”

Is that the Parisian way? Is that how people normally greet someone they haven’t seen in years? Sohee and him were only colleagues, but still, the least you could do is pretend.

You’re not one to judge a book by its cover, but c’mon, seriously? Were you wrong for expecting the person who writes about love in its most raw and beautiful form to look… not like Grumpy Cat personified? It makes you even more fucking intimidated. And he’s going to be sitting next to you? The fuck?

As he sits down, you blink, still a bit dazed, not sure how to process this. Sohee gently pushes you forward, which makes you nearly stumble right into him. You turn to her with a glare, but she just motions to him, mouthing ‘Go on.’

You clear your throat, wiping your hand on your pants before you hold it out. “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you say, trying to sound as professional as you can. “I’m really looking forward to working with you.”

He glances at you, and reaches out to meet your outstretched hand in a barely-there handshake. “Yoongi.”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 07.05.2023]